It's weird because most people told me it would feel like a weight has been lifted, and I really don't feel that. Am I glad to be done with it, sure, but as a single man in my late 20's I didn't feel like they were a big deal. I probably wouldn't have paid them off if Bible didn't recommend it as a good idea. Also, I don't know what else I would spend my money on. The reality is I am a pretty simple guy. I love simple things. When joy comes by complex means it is stifled by stress. I like to read the news with a cup of tea in the morning. I like to read a book when I go to bed. I enjoy the occasional tobacco pipe in the early evening and an intriguing TV series like House of Cards. Traveling can be fun every now and then, but I live in another country and for now that's enough.
Feeling content is a rare activity for me though, and it's something I wish I could enjoy more often. I'm certain God brought me out here for a reason, and I am pretty sure I know what it is. I've asked Him my whole life to make me into the man He wants me to be, and I have always strived to be someone else. Here I have a chance to grow up without expectation of who I am or what I think people want of me. I can just be. And like a cat stuck in a tree clinging on for dear life I haven't let go very well. I've hurt some of the people I love dearly in the letting go process and that haunts me.
However, this week is a week of celebration. I am debt free. Thank you all for your prayers. If ever I have needed them now is the time. Pray for wisdom with my next life decisions, and healing from the past. I love you all.
